It is more blessed to give than to receive. ~~ Acts 20:35

GiftDoes this quote resonate with you?  Do you love to give presents, but have a hard time accepting when someone wants to give to you?  Do you give out lots of compliments, but deflect them when they come your way?  Do you keep a mental balance sheet, carefully returning each gift or compliment so that you are never in anyone’s debt?  If so, you have been conditioned with a very pervasive belief system that may be standing in the way of your own success and happiness. 

Believe me, I am very qualified to talk about this, because up until recently I was the world’s worst receiver.  It all started with my childhood.  I was raised Catholic, and the belief that giving was better than receiving was deeply ingrained in my subconscious from a very early age.

I did not know how to accept a compliment gracefully.  If someone gave me an unexpected gift, I would be embarrassed that I did not have one to give back.  If someone praised me for my work, I would give all the credit to others.  All that time, I thought I was being generous and humble.

Think about this…there can be no giver without a receiver.

Recently I have come to a different understanding of giving and receiving.  How do you feel when you give someone a gift, and they quickly put it aside to open at a later time?  Or you give someone a compliment, and they blush and stammer that they don’t deserve it?

When I was a kid, I used to save up my allowance to buy Christmas presents for everyone in my family.  I didn’t have a lot of money, but I spent a lot of time choosing just the right gift for each person…something I thought they would absolutely love.

My mother was the perfect receiver.  She would give us plenty of hints about what she liked and what she hoped to receive.  Then, no matter what we picked out, it would be absolutely perfect.  I never gave her a gift that she didn’t “love” vocally and with lots of enthusiasm.

My father, on the other hand, never received a gift he loved.  No matter how much effort I put into getting him just the right golf balls or gadget for his workshop, he would have the same response…”Oh, you kids don’t have to buy me anything.  Just your love is enough for me.”

Now, I am sure that he meant what he said in the kindest of ways.  But which parent do you think made me feel better, more seen and heard and appreciated?

So what does all this have to do with being in business?

We’ve all learned by now that the first step in attraction marketing is to provide valuable content to your prospective customers and clients.  This is the giving part, and it comes easily if you’ve bought into the belief that giving is better than receiving.

But what about the receiving part?  For some of us, limiting beliefs about the value of receiving make it difficult to ask others for what we want…whether it is re-posting our content, joining our tribe, or purchasing our products or services.

I now understand that by not asking others for help, we are depriving them of the opportunity to give.  Most people want to be in reciprocal relationships, where there is a flow of energy back and forth between two or more people.

This does not mean that we should give with the expectation of receiving.  The fact is, some people will want and appreciate our gifts, and others may not.  Some people may choose to give back, and others may choose to direct their giving elsewhere.   It really doesn’t matter.

What matters is that we are open to the flow of energy, whether we are giving or receiving.  The Law of Attraction works in mysterious ways, and our gifts may come back to us from unexpected sources.

If giving and receiving are really just different aspects of the same flow of energy, how can one be better than the other?  So I have chosen a different quote to base my beliefs on…

The universe operates through dynamic exchange…

giving and receiving are different aspects

of the flow of energy in the universe.

And in our willingness to give that which we seek,

we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.

~~ Deepok Chopra

I would love to hear your thoughts about giving and receiving, and how it has worked in your life and your business.  So, if this post resonates with you, please leave me a comment or share the love on Facebook or Twitter.  I will be glad to do the same for you.

To your success,