Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. ~~ Steve Jobs
I am sure you have heard the conventional wisdom that we should live every day as if it is our last day on earth. I know that for me, it always sounded like a good idea, but I had no idea how to put it into practice.
How could I appreciate the moment when it was a gray, rainy day and the car ran out of gas? How could I live in the present when I had a pressing deadline at work and not enough time to get everything done? How am I supposed to love my life now when I have just lost my father, and all of my unfulfilled dreams and fantasies of the relationship we could have shared.
My father’s passing on December 11th has finally given me a glimpse into what it might mean to suspend time and truly live in the moment. For two weeks, I have given up caring about what will happen at work if I am not the last one at my desk every night. I have not answered every email within 15 minutes, and I have missed a few important meetings. I have learned that I am not indispensable and that people who care about me are happy to take over when I have other priorities.
All of this got me started thinking about how I could hold on to this feeling and use it to create a better life. Not that I want to be a slacker, but it sure would feel good to spend more time doing what matters and less doing what “needs to be done.”
That is when I ran into this wonderful quote from one of my role models, Steve Jobs. Here is a man who always followed his own vision, even when it defied convention or made others unhappy.
Reading this quote, I realized that he was much closer than many of us to living in awareness that he was going to die. Of course, we all know that death is inevitable, but often it seems like a distant future. But for Jobs and anyone living with a serious illness, they must live with constant awareness of our finite time on earth.
If I could hold on to this feeling, here is how I would live my life.
- I would think less about what other people expect and more about what truly matters to me.
- Following joy would become more important than chasing praise or external rewards.
- The possibility of failure would not deter me from trying all of the things on my bucket list.
- Being real would become more important than being likeable.
- Creating something of value to leave behind would become more important than accumulating wealth and possessions.
It strikes me that these are not bad principles for making life decisions, no matter what our stage of life. I pray for the guidance to hold on to these feelings as memories of my father fade and the realities of every day life take center stage.
