My mother had a famous saying when life seemed difficult. Case in point — when my high school boyfriend dumped me right after graduation and I thought the world would come to an end.
My mother’s advice was, “It’s just a chapter in your life. It won’t last forever.” (And it’s time to stop bawling your eyes out in the dingy basement.)
Maybe you think of your life in chapters, too. We often measure life by its turning points and cultural rituals. There are the high points — christenings, birthdays, graduations, weddings, awards, and anniversaries. Then there are the difficult chapters — divorce, illness, losing someone we love, and ultimately facing our own mortality.
These cultural markers are valuable because they connect us to a shared human need for love and belonging to a community. But they are not necessarily the best way to think about the paths we choose and the deeper spiritual meaning of our lives.
The S/Hero’s Journey Framework
When I started trying to wrestle my personal stories into a book, I reconnected with the notion of life as a journey — a series of quests that lead us ever closer to our ultimate destination. This idea was popularized by Joseph Campbell in his book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces, which draws on centuries of hero myths from around the world.
You probably recognize the hero’s journey framework from popular books and movies, from Star Wars to Harry Potter. The hero is called from his comfortable world to embark on an adventure. Along the route, he encounters many challenges that he must overcome to get to the prize. He connects with allies and confront enemies. At some point, he encounters the ultimate challenge — a battle for survival. When he emerges victorious, he claims the prize and heads back home a hero.
If you think about life that way, each cultural ritual and turning point becomes a quest on your life journey.
Going to college becomes a quest for knowledge. Graduations and leaving home for the first time become a quest for independence and freedom.
Embarking on a career becomes a quest for respect or fulfillment. Marriage and family become a quest for love and belonging.
Facing illness puts you on a quest for health and wellness, and facing mortality puts you on a quest for spiritual transcendence.
If you took Psych 101, you might see that these quests all correspond to basic human needs described by Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs. They are all leading to the ultimate destination of self-actualization, which is the desire to become all that you can be.
What Quest Are You On?
If you took Psych 101, you might see that these quests all correspond to basic human needs described by Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs. They are all leading to the ultimate destination of self-actualization, which is the desire to become all that you can be.
Later in his work, Maslow added a higher level to the pyramid. He realized that once people attain fulfillment and actualization, they are still left with a need to believe that their life matters. This manifests as a desire to give back, to leave a legacy, and to connect with your own sense of spirituality.
Maureen Murdock, who studied with Campbell, wrote her own book describing how a woman’s life journey is often a little bit different, involving a need to reconnect with the divine feminine she left behind when she went off on a hero’s adventure. We will talk more about that in our next post.
We all have the same basic needs, so most of us experience each of these quests at some point in our lives. That is, if we are lucky enough to have our basic physiological and safety needs met.
But for many of us, there is one quest — one compelling itch — that follows us throughout our lives. For me, that has been the quest for knowledge and understanding. No doubt that is why I became a law professor and stayed in academia for most of my life.
Knowing what quest you are on now, and what adventure you are longing for, can help you identify the higher purpose and meaning of your life. And if you are a writer, it will help you connect with readers on a deeper level.
So please drop me a comment and let me know what quest you are on in your life journey.
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